30 signs you’re not a real grown up yet

You have a flat, a full-time job and the odd grey hair. Legally, you became a legit grown-up years ago. But in practise? You’re not quite a fully-fledged adult human. Because… 

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1. You still text your mum to check how long a baked potato needs to be in the oven for.

2. You don’t really have any savings to speak of. Because just opening a savings account doesn’t count.

3. You are never the designated driver.

4. You can’t parallel park. And you don’t even care.

5. You still get a stocking from “Santa” at Christmas. And god help the family member who suggests you’re too old to.

6. You never read the small print. For all you know, you gifted your soul to Apple when you agreed to iTunes’ terms and conditions.

7. You still struggle to change lightbulbs in a timely manner. You once lived by candlelight for three weeks. (Or was that just me?)

8. When you go out for coffee with your parents you patiently wait for them to settle the bill.

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9. All your shoes leak. So you spend most of winter with soggy, chilly toes.

10. You’ve never successfully asked for a pay rise at work. Could… Can… It’s just that… Oh, never mind.

11. You don’t own contents insurance. Or phone insurance. You even forgot travel insurance last time you went to France.

12. All the plants you buy die quick, unnatural deaths.

13. You think paying for a taxi is a waste of money. Even if the alternative is walking home through a park in the middle of the night on your own.

14. You never get out of free trials in time. Those 30 days fly by and hello 12-month direct debit contract.

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15. Your bank statements still go to your parents house.

16. And your parents still help you move flats. Because how else will your stuff get across London?

17. You don’t like ordering rounds at the pub.

18. But when the wine is free, you drink all the wine. Because it’s free.

19. You’ve never really done a real ‘whites’ wash. Stripey tees and polka dots are kind of white, right?

18. Your bottom lip still wobbles when you break something. You know there’s no point crying over spilt milk, but 😢

19. You never have a proof of address when you need one. The recycling bin is your filing system.

20. You’re still not 100% sure what you want to do when you grow up. You like your job, but you haven’t entirely ruled out retraining as an astronaut.

21. You feel a tiny bit guilty whenever you buy alcohol, even though you’ve had valid ID for almost 10 years.

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22. You still scan the wine aisle by price rather than grape variety.

23. You feel really proud when you buy more loo roll before you’ve actually run out. #goals

24. You still talk about that one time you had your boots reheeled.

25. You feel really stressed when the bill comes at the end of a group meal. Because you only actually had half a starter, guys.

26. You think a sandwich is dinner. And if it’s an M&S one, it’s a fricking good dinner.

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27. You use your hair straighteners as an iron, or you don’t bother at all. Because creases fall out when you wear stuff anyway, right?

28. You regularly eat cake when you should be at the gym. Because if you haven’t put your sports bra on you may as well write off the entire day.

29. You feel like everyone is playing an elaborate game of dress up when you go to a friend’s wedding.

30. And you feel real panic when people assume you’re a responsible adult. Please don’t leave me alone with your baby.

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